Ceremony Triage & The Celebrant Whisperer

If there’s one thing I dislike about being a celebrant, it is this: having to replace a celebrant who has done an inadequate job on the journey to ceremony. You might wonder how a professionally trained celebrant could get something so wrong as to make a client ‘sack’ them or ask for another celebrant, but alas it happens (and far more frequently than you could possibly imagine).

Sometimes when I look at the script a celebrant has tried to palm off to a client as ‘professional’, I am left speechless and my heart hurts (this applies as equally to weddings as funerals). In these situations, not only are you dealing with a client who has been left “devastated” (a recently let-down client used that exact word), but you’re working at really short notice. You might have just 24 to 48 hours to fill in. In my case, this means I’m meeting with the client (even if it has to be by phone or Zoom) and creating and writing a ceremony from scratch. I know from each and every situation, that my clients feel an incredible sense of relief when they see the script I write. They know they’re in safe, competent hands.

Most of our celebrant work happens behind the scenes. It’s not enough to be a confident public speaker. We have to be able to bring heart and authenticity to the words that we’ll be speaking.

I, personally, would never use any script written by another celebrant (not just because of professional pride but intellectual copyright; and frankly I’ve never seen one that’s good enough to use anyway, hence the client being unhappy). I’ve seen wedding scripts that have left me choking on my cuppa: full of spelling errors, typos, poor grammar and sentence structure as well as lack of creative flair and care. You might wonder how celebrants can charge hundreds of pounds for work that is so far below standard. The reason is they’ve not had to be accountable in order to receive their certification.

So, if you’re starting out in the celebrant world, you’ll often hear phrases like “there are too many celebrants”. NO, there are not too many celebrants. There are too many poorly trained and ‘inadequately equipped for the job’ celebrants. I’ve been picking up the short fall for long enough to know this to be a fact. There’s been no improvement over the years despite (or maybe because of) the proliferation of celebrant-training organisations. And these poorly trained celebrants aren’t just coming out of the online training schools, but the ones costing £2500 to £4000 and more (including NOCN ones). What are people paying for? They certainly aren’t getting rigour or having their scripts analysed and assessed at any professional level.

At Heart-led Ceremonies, our students know that our approach is detailed and thorough, and they soon understand that it is far better for me to point out weaknesses than for the client to be upset or having to highlight their inadequacies. We make no apologies for our high standards.

I said at the outset that I dislike having to fill in for other celebrants. I do, enjoy, having clients who are 100% satisfied and that is why I say ‘yes’ to being a Ceremony Whisperer.

Veronika Robinson is a celebrant, celebrant trainer, author and multi-faith minister in Cumbria. Veronika officiated her first ceremony in 1995, New Zealand, and has created beautiful ceremonies across every rite of passage ever since that first wedding. Along with her husband Paul, they offer one-to-one private celebrant training in Cumbria. This passion and dedication to excellence in celebrancy is further evidenced by her contributions to the field via The Celebrant Collection, books published by Starflower Press; and 13 issues of The Celebrant Magazine.