Rituals As Moments of Reverence
While some people have an aversion to the word ‘ritual’, others, like myself, consider it one of the most beautiful in our language. If you say it out loud, you can hear the musicality within it inviting you inwards towards a liminal moment and out again.
Ritual
During our celebrant training courses, I teach about the narrative and choreography of rituals; those that are familiar and traditional, like the giving of rings, as well as curating bespoke ones. This morning, while assessing modules for a number of our current celebrants-in-training, there was one student in particular whose work had me repeatedly saying ‘wow’. Why? This student had clearly assimilated the deeper purpose of ritual: a visual, auditory or other sensory cue to invite mindful presence. Not only was his narrative lyrically stunning, sensitive and sensory, but the choreography was as it should be: a beautiful dance.
I liken rituals to the picture element of a story book. They bring something powerful to embed the messages within the ceremony. For some people, it comes naturally to include these in their ceremonies. A Heart-led trained Celebrant is well versed in creating rituals for the rites of passage they officiate.
Whenever I contemplate these moments of reverence, and how best to bring them into ceremonies, I come back to how I experience them in my personal life and what they all share in common. Whether it’s:
- standing beneath starlight before going to bed
- peeling an orange and savouring every moment of that juicy treasure of distilled sunlight
- opening a letter from a friend
- holding the rose quartz my mum had in her hands when she died
- lighting the first incense for the day
- making my bed
- sipping a cup of rooibos tea
- walking barefoot on dewy grass at dawn
- reading in bed at night
- meditating
- lighting a candle
- watering my house plants
- self anointing
- folding hands
- energy clearing
- cleaning my reading glasses
- washing the dishes (just joking, that’s Paul’s job!)
- touching trees
- offering a feather to the wind
- making a vegetable juice
- ringing a bell or sound bowl
- my daily walk
- reading oracle cards
I do each of these mindfully. They’re a pause from anything else going on in my day. They connect me.
The Zen proverb
Before enlightenment: Chop wood, carry water
After enlightenment: Chop wood, carry water
is a beautiful reminder of the seeking the sacred within life itself.
What this tells us is that doing something mindfully, with pause and presence, allows us to connect with a Higher Purpose.
One of my favourite sayings is: “How we do anything is how we do everything.” A Heart-led Celebrant is, ideally, on an inner path of awareness, wisdom and conscious living. This inevitably manifests in the ceremonial rituals they create for others.
No matter how simple or elaborate (layered) a ritual is, from earth to ember we seek to be rooted to Nature herself, as well as to ourselves and others, thereby giving us a sense of belong. During times of uncertainty, in particular, rituals can help us with the way we handle our emotions.
Sometimes the greatest moments of ritual are spontaneous. When my father died, just before the ceremony I plucked a Bird of Paradise flower to place in the coffin with him. On the surface, it symbolised all his years working in Papua New Guinea as well as them growing in my childhood home. It’s also a symbol of: the awareness of invisible reality.
When our daily lives are imbued with rich symbolism and meaning, it naturally leads into our work as a ceremonialist. Our Heart-led Celebrant training opens the door to expressing this fully.
The words ritual and ceremony are, more often than not, used interchangeably by people (including celebrants, oddly). They are two different things. A ceremony is the over-arching ceremonial event from beginning to end. A ritual is a ‘moment’ of narrative and choreography within the ceremony, such as closing the curtain after the committal in a cremation service, the giving of rings in a wedding, the washing of hands in a matrimonial blessing, or the anointing of a baby. So, when someone talks about a ‘sand ceremony’ in a wedding, it is actually a ritual.
When a celebrant creates a ritual for a ceremony, it is ideally done so in a manner that is mindful rather than just ‘filling up space’. The number of times I’ve shared images of bespoke rituals online only to receive private messages asking “Can you send me that ritual?” NO. A custom-made or tailor-made ritual is unique to my client. It’s not like borrowing or lending a bag of sugar from/to your neighbour.
As I curate a ritual, I imagine it to be similar to holding a newborn infant: a lifeforce to behold and shared with care and the utmost reverence.
During training, our celebrants (especially those on our signature course: Diploma in Advanced Celebrancy and Ritual) learn the art and practice of creating beautiful rituals which add meaning and power to the ceremonies they write.
As you go through your days, revision them. See all those opportunities to pause, and practise the grace of presencing for yourself. Whether you’re a celebrant or not, this will engender a stunning spiral of sanctity that spreads, like sunshine, across the seasons of your life.
Veronika Robinson has been officiating all manner of ceremonies since 1995, and alongside her husband Paul are industry leaders offering one-to-one professional celebrant training.
Veronika Robinson has a Master’s Degree in Creative Writing, is the author of over thirty books, including several for celebrants including The Five Elements; The Successful Celebrant; Write That Eulogy; Funerals for Children; The Discrimination-free Celebrant. Love Story is publishing in Winter 2026.
She is a certified Infant Loss Professional; founder of Penrith’s first Death Café; has a TQUK Level 2 Certificate in Self-harm and Suicide Awareness and Prevention; is a celebrant for the charity Gift of a Wedding; mentors celebrants around the world in all aspects of celebrancy including mastering writing life stories and love stories; and hosts retreats for celebrants. Veronika founded and edited The Celebrant magazine. Issues 1 to 13 can be found here.
