The Integrated Celebrant

© Written by Veronika Sophia Robinson

There are so many aspects to celebrancy that having a strong sense of self will stand you in good stead during the ever-winding path of your career. The only thing we ever have control over is how we react to things (and people, and places). One of the reasons why it’s so important to me to have a holistic model of both celebrant training and celebrancy is because the more you see the connection between mind, body and soul, the better able you are to connect them so they work cohesively towards internal harmony. You could also call this being integrated.

 

What might being an integrated celebrant feel like? No matter what challenges or difficulties you face or have faced, they will shape or have shaped you, and this will make you wiser and more resilient. Not integrated? You might suffer from so-called imposter syndrome, have panic attacks, be vulnerable or nervous, second guess your decisions, or be inert in your business.

The integrated celebrant celebrates their choices (regardless of outcomes), as they know they’re all part of their overarching working life. They practice self-kindness and kindsight (looking at the past with kindness). Not integrated? Worrying, fretting, and regretting choices will fritter your days away. There may be shame over mistakes.

While the integrated celebrant makes plans and promises towards their business, and sets intentions, they choose (every day) to live in the present. From this anchored space of calm, they can walk through any chaos or drama around them, and remained centred. You can’t put a price on that level of integration.

 

The integrated celebrant lives in a state of trust knowing that they are quietly developing their skills with confidence and the power of their own convictions.

With integration, you have the privilege of being yourself and aligning with your values. There’s no need for chase or hustle. Integration is a gentle affirming inner sense of self that doesn’t require outer applause to feel validated. In celebrancy, our work satisfaction, pleasure and quality speaks for itself. 

The quickest way to know if you’re integrated is that you’re fully expressing your values. This level of authenticity ensures that you’re living wholeheartedly and are true to yourself. With this, comes deep inner peace. Your greatest rewards come from within rather than externally. This means no one can ‘rock your boat’.

 

Integration is about living,

moving and having your being

in a state of grace.

 

This is mirrored in your working relationships and the response you have to life.

 

Being integrated doesn’t mean you suddenly have a perfect life. What it does bring you though is harmony, peace and trust. This allows you to do what you do best: meet people from a place of love and care and joy, and to create with empathy, creativity and awareness. The kindness you bring to yourself and all those who happen upon your path will always come from a place of clarity, compassion and clear communication.

Becoming an integrated celebrant isn’t about perfection, though you may strive for excellence.

When you feel like your best self, that’s a good chance you’re feeling integrated. Being disintegrated will feel like you’re not grounded. You could be anxious or fearful, for example.

Developing a whole sense of self starts with awareness and reflection. Think about your values (in work and play) and whether you’re being true to them. Be kind to yourself when you make mistakes. You’re human.

Find ways to bring more groundedness to your life such as walking for a few miles each day, having a massage, barefoot walking on the grass, hugging a tree, or holding a rock. Consider how you react to things that are out of your control. Everything in this life always comes back to ‘choice’. Even when we feel we have no choice, we have a choice about how to react to that. Learn to attune to your body’s wisdom.

 

There are many helpful ways of choosing to develop psychological maturity. Your celebrant business is a wonderful vessel in which you can intentionally learn more about who you are (such as areas of vulnerability, defensiveness and shadow spots) and learn to heal, release or understand yourself better. There are various ways you can do this. You could, for example, learn more about who you are through psychological astrology or the Enneagram or other personality typing. In my experience, psychological astrology is the best.

By choosing to integrate the various parts of ourselves, we not only improve our life (and work) but the lives of all those around us. With celebrancy being a person-centred role, doesn’t it make sense to prioritise our psychological health and well-being?

Weaving practices like reflective journaling, stillness, silence and meditation into our daily lives allows us to unravel psychic knots that live within. They are called practices for a reason: they take practise. Integration doesn’t happen overnight. It’s consciously honed through dedicated self awareness and reflection. You won’t win celebrant awards for it. But you know what? You won’t need to.

 

An integrated celebrant

is fully and completely in alignment

with their inner truth

and they don’t need external validation.

 

Their greatest awards and rewards come from living with coherence.

Your journey to integration isn’t something you practise for a few minutes a day. It’s an all-day and every-day practice. This dedication to self awareness is the least selfish thing you can ever do.


Veronika Robinson and Paul Robinson are a husband and wife team whose boutique celebrant training Heart-led Celebrants attracts people from around the world. Heart-led Celebrants has earned a reputation for excellence in celebrant training, and those who are certified exemplify the highest standards in the industry.

Veronika has been a celebrant for over thirty years (having trained in New Zealand in 1995), and is the author of many books including the popular Celebrant Collection: Write That Eulogy; The Successful Celebrant; Funeral Celebrant Ceremony Planner; Wedding Celebrant Ceremony Planner; The Discrimination-free Celebrant; The Five Elements.

Award-winning voice artist, Paul Robinson, has had a whole career centred around his voice and other people’s. He’s highly experienced as a celebrant, trained actor, drama coach, voice-over artist, singer, broadcaster, compère, and ventriloquist. Paul is an excellent communicator and teacher, and has a sixth sense about how to relate to individuals, groups and audiences.