The Yin and Yang of Celebrancy

There’s the standard way of doing business in this world, which is all push, drive, hustle, and then there’s the Heart-led way. Being the creative soul-led CEO of your celebrant business means recognising that the patriarchal work model is not best suited to our offerings.

 

I like to think being a Heart-led Celebrant models the yin and yang of celebrancy. Consciously choosing to live and work in this way leads not only to the longevity of your business, but a love for all you do, and having a co-creative balance not just between your work and life (aka work life balance) but within your work.

Yin and yang are complementary opposites which contain the ‘seed’ of each other. This is a dynamic energy of balance, harmony and union.

 

Let’s look at the two halves. The first thing you’ll notice in an image of yin and yang is that each half flows into the other. There’s no straight line down the middle.

 

Energies of yin: Night, Moon, New Moon, Winter, feminine, receptive, contraction, retreat, quiet

Energies of yang: Day, Sun, Full Moon, Summer, masculine, active, expansion, advance, loud

We need both in our lives. You simply wouldn’t have the full, bright and vibrant Summer if not for the dark of Winter. Learn to self regulate and see where you can lean into each of them seamlessly.

 

Yin
One of the things I hear a lot from extroverted celebrants, who’ve come to celebrancy after decades of work where they’ve been surrounded by people, is how ‘lonely’ they find this job. I understand this might be something of a culture shock. Personally, I find there are plenty of opportunities for human contact in this work: every time I officiate a funeral I’m having micro-connections with dozens of people from mourners to bereavement staff at a crematorium, chapel or burial ground, to funeral directors and bearers. Other ceremonies, such as weddings, offer many opportunities to connect: photographers, florists, wedding planners, guests, your couple. And, of course, I have celebrant friends around the world who I can interact with in a nano-second. When someone finds celebrancy lonely, what they’re really saying is that they’re not plugged into other people’s energy all the time.

The truth is that an essential part of being a celebrant is researching and writing ceremony scripts. This requires dedication, reflection and the quiet space in which to craft meaningful words. This is one of the yin elements in celebrancy.

We also experience yin during quieter work times (the ebb and flow is vital for allowing us and our business to breathe and recalibrate). Some people ‘try’ to create yin by taking holidays and yet these events often bring yang energy (airport lounges, flight delays, noise, busyness of humans bustling about, full itineraries).

Yin can be found and created in our practice through conscious ways of living: meditation, walking in nature, aware breathing, journaling, reading books which help you reflect or listening to inspiring podcasts. Creating space in the day without ‘social’ media or being bombarded with information left, right and centre, is essential to our overall health. Yin invites us inwards, to the centre of our being. If we’re resisting this, it might be an opportunity to look at any wounds around being present for one’s self.

 

Yin is deep-level listening.

That is about listening to yourself and your biological needs for quiet, stillness, peace and calm.

Listening to others, with presence, means dropping our ego and the need for sharing relatable stories, and simply being. My friend Angela calls this presencing. Yin shows us how we can hold the space for another. Yin is a sacred container. This is where and how we receive.

Yin is how we listen to the inner voice and intuition when choosing the right words for a ceremony or a ritual.

Maybe you’ll experience yin by going back over old scripts and reflect on what you can learn, and if or how your writing has evolved.

Yang
Yang is the counterbalance of yin. While yang is the standard business model, it has more power when working alongside the feminine, receptive energies of yin. With yang, we have drive, push, and the incentive to ‘get things done’, book more clients, to glorify BUSY. Yang is all move, move, move. Do it now!

Yang is when we are ‘out there’; and, this is extrovert heaven: being seen and visible. Many celebrants are attracted to this job for the visibility factor. That is, being ‘on stage’; being the centre of attention.

 

If we are doing this job well (as a Heart-led Celebrant), being in front of an audience is a small (yet vital) part of the job. Most of our work is behind the scenes crafting quality ceremonies. When visibility, and being the centre of the limelight, is where you get your ‘fix’, then you’ll live life in a constant emotional state of up and down.

A celebrant who truly leads from the heart knows that when we officiate a ceremony, it is NEVER about us. We are there to hold the space and shine a light on our clients (or their loved one). A Heart-led Celebrant can be both yin and yang when they’re officiating a ceremony. Their presence invites people in to listen, to feel, to sense. Yang is what gives the celebrant the ability to stand in front of others and speak and to do so with energy.

 

Yang gets us out of bed in the morning. Motivation.

We create ‘to do’ lists based on yang energies.

But if you look at the yin and yang symbol, you’ll notice this: it isn’t just yin on one side of the circle, and yang on the other. Each of them contains the other within their hemisphere. This is telling, and can be a good model for your business.

Yin and yang must work in harmony. Too much yang, and you’ll become burnt out. Some may even see you as aggressive as you chase for new clients. Too much yin, and you’ll be so passive you won’t achieve anything. You might be seen as not having any energy.

Have a look at your life and identify your yin from your yang. Are they working in harmony? In essence, are they supporting each other?

Let them be a beautiful dance

between reflecting and taking action.

 

Yin
Interacting with nature: walking, sitting by a window, barefoot on the grass, looking at the stars before bed.

Limit digital technology. Keep your phone out of your bedroom. Turn off notifications.

Include deep breathing and meditation or mindfulness into your daily life.

Keep a gratitude journal specific to your celebrancy.

Don’t overschedule. Protect your energy, time and space.

 

Develop excellent sleep hygiene.

Create rest days in your diary.

When scheduling visits to clients, put breathing space between each visit.

Stay well hydrated and limit stimulants.

Throughout your day, move in gentle ways: walking, yin yoga, tai chi.

Is your home office/work space one of calm? What can you do so soften your creative space?

Keep a reflective journal about your Heart-led Celebrant practice.

At the end of the day, you might like to enjoy a relaxing bath with essential oils like lavender or chamomile or sprinkle a few drops on your pillow before sleep.

Yang
If you feel your celebrant life needs jazzing up a bit, bring the warmth of yang.

Set intentions. I’m the queen of to-do lists.

My friend Catrina uses and LOVES her bullet journal. This might work for you, too.

 

 

Best described as a paper-based productivity system, it is a way for you to combine journaling, time management, and tasks into a single book. This will help you to align your actions with your goals.

 

Add vigorous movement to your day: running, aerobics, strength training, brisk walking.

Add spices to your meals and beverages. Think ginger, chilli, cayenne, nutmeg, cinnamon.

Enjoy sunlight.

During winter, keep warm.

Sip hot tea.

Make social connections: a phone call, video chat, message, hand-written letter, visit.

Do something to spark joy.

 

A balance of yin and yang energies would be, for example, attracting clients by being present in your own being and naturally drawing them to you through the Law of Intention (or Law of Assumption/Attraction) rather than racing along a cliff edge like a mobile lighthouse shouting “Book me! Book me now!” When we have a healthy balance of yin and yang, there’s no hustling or bustling. Our days and our manner are a cohesive and conscious self-contained circle of dynamic energy.

Why not look at your ceremonies and rituals and micro-identify the yin and yang within them? The more attuned you become to this, you’ll be able to tilt your work life to wherever more more yin or yang is beneficial.

 

Veronika Robinson and Paul Robinson are a husband and wife team whose boutique celebrant training Heart-led Celebrants attracts people from around the world. Heart-led Celebrants has earned a reputation for excellence in celebrant training, and those who are certified exemplify the highest standards in the industry.

Veronika is the author of many books including the popular Celebrant Collection: Write That Eulogy; The Successful Celebrant; Funeral Celebrant Ceremony Planner; Wedding Celebrant Ceremony Planner; The Discrimination-free Celebrant; The Five Elements.

Award-winning voice artist, Paul Robinson, has had a whole career centred around his voice and other people’s. He’s highly experienced as a celebrant, trained actor, drama coach, voice-over artist, singer, broadcaster, compère, and ventriloquist. Paul is an excellent communicator and teacher, and has a sixth sense about how to relate to individuals, groups and audiences.