Celebrants and Compassion Fatigue
Compassion Fatigue is yet another syndrome to add to our list of woes. As if caring humans haven’t got enough to deal with on a daily basis.
All around us, we’re bombarded by images of war, destruction, devastation, homelessness, poverty, political power struggles and more. These are in our cultural energetic soup. That is, they swirl around us 24/7. The truth is that if we see the world only through this lens, life can feel overwhelming and exhausting. There’s a saying “We were never meant to carry the weight of the whole world on our shoulders”. And yet, many of us do. Day to day we carry the hurts and harms, hopelessness and hostility that’s fed to us from all parts of the world.
When images of war or climatic destruction fill your living room or are part of your daily ‘doom scrolling’, is it any surprise that you live with anxiety or feel constantly tired? These are heavy weights to bear. While some people may be called to a life of activism and working on the front line to bring change, for many people there’s a sense of surrendering at the sidelines from a place of futility. Perhaps what’s even worse than the psychological impotence of being unable to ‘save the world’, is compassion fatigue. When we see, hear and sense so much pain, so much anguish and so much destruction, our natural ability to be compassionate is called upon in many different directions and ways that there’s very little left. Compassion fatigue. Is it possible to reach a point where we just stop caring? Maybe this becomes even more so when we feel like there’s nothing we can do anyway.
Funeral celebrants and those who create ceremonies for rites of passage that are centred around trauma (such as amputation, terminal diagnosis) can also be at risk of compassion fatigue. When we sit with people who are experiencing the devastation of grief, we’d have to be inhuman to not be touched in some way. There are those death stories that penetrate even more deeply into our psyche: child death, death by suicide, sudden, tragic deaths. Celebrant training walks you through what the reality of these might be like, but the impact isn’t something that can be illustrated other than through direct experience. For example, nothing prepares you for the first time you see a newborn infant’s coffin being carried to the ceremonial space. Or when a family invites you to see their deceased loved one in the Butterfly Suite (a specially kept cold room in the children’s wing of the hospice). While, as a funeral celebrant, we have to maintain a level of professionalism and composure in our work, it’s important that it doesn’t become a barrier to compassion. Those with natural empathy won’t be at risk of this.
A wedding celebrant may be working with couples where one of them is terminally ill or has suffered a major loss.
There are many other types of ceremonies that celebrants create that may involve being exposed to secondary trauma.
Do we have an antidote to compassion fatigue? As Heart-led Celebrants, this will come in two major ways:
Self Care
Self Awareness
Self care is vital. This is what it might look like:
Ample sleep
Movement
Mindfulness
Breath work
Hydration
Kindness to self
Ensuring time off
Reflective practice
Social support (with those who know how to listen)
Professional support (e.g. one-to-one mentoring with their celebrant trainer or someone who has experience of secondary trauma and will listen rather than try to fix)
Self Awareness
This is about understanding that a naturally compassionate heart is able to keep on being present for others and self. Compassion fatigue often stems from feeling like you can’t do anything. Taking action might be the antidote for you.
Although we might not be able to ‘fix’ someone’s problem, there are things we can do.
Offer help with a task (such as post a letter, drive to a bus stop)
Be kind
Deep listening
Create a safe space by being present
Send a message afterwards
Show patience
Remind yourself that all humans are connected
Compassion is like the aura of the heart:
capable of great expansion.
We can let that light dim through overwhelm or we can let our light shine even more brightly (without self suffering). It is possible to be the stillpoint in someone else’s storm and radiate love, care, kindness and to put practices in place whereby we can retain our inner sense of calm and well-being.
Bringing our awareness to suffering involves mindfulness. When we are affected by suffering (feeling emotionally moved), this will draw on our desire to relieve that suffering and to put that intention into action.
Celebrant life is a dance. We learn when to step forward, to take two steps back, move to the side or stand still. If you’re experiencing compassion fatigue, coming to a place of stillness and silence may be your saving sanctuaries.
Veronika Robinson has been officiating all manner of ceremonies since 1995, and alongside her husband Paul are industry leaders offering professional celebrant training.
Veronika Robinson has a Master’s Degree in Creative Writing, is the author of over thirty books, including several for celebrants including The Five Elements; The Successful Celebrant; Write That Eulogy; Funerals for Children; The Discrimination-free Celebrant. Love Story is publishing in Winter 2026.
She is a certified Infant Loss Professional; founder of Penrith’s first Death Café; has a TQUK Level 2 Certificate in Self-harm and Suicide Awareness and Prevention; is a celebrant for the charity Gift of a Wedding; mentors celebrants around the world in all aspects of celebrancy including mastering writing life stories and love stories; and hosts retreats for celebrants. Veronika founded and edited The Celebrant magazine.
